Sharks. Tornadoes. SHARKNADOES!

Looks like the Vatican picked the right week to announce the upcoming canonizations of Saints-to-be John Paul II and John XXIII. All their holiness and more will be required to handle the latest calamity.

No, I don’t mean a weakened populace demanding government do “just one more thing” for them. Nor do I hint at how our police became a military force with us at its enemies (all militaries have enemies).

It will take more than a blessing to stop the unrelenting force of ravenous, sharp-toothed beasts from the sea riding on the wings of tornadoes!

SHARKNADO! A new documentary by the studio that brought you the classics Frankenfish, Chupacabra vs. The Alamo and the terrifying Shark Swarm, Sharktopus, Swamp Shark, Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Malibu Shark Attack, and the haunting Dinoshark comes SHARKNADO!

A movie which asks, “What would happen if a chain of tornadoes sucked up hundreds of sharks and flung them at B and C actors in Los Angeles?”

I’ll tell you what: horror!


11 Comments

  1. Scotian

    Finally, an article I can get my teeth into!

  2. Noblesse Oblige

    I love it. We have been transported back to the 50s. Now maybe we can start over and get it right this time.

  3. A report back–too few sharks, too much running around and screaming and hiding. There were a couple of interesting twists–dropping “bombs” from a helicopter flown frightening close to the tornadoes (to stop the spinning vortexes and thus end them from bringing in more sharks) and the final scene with one of our heroes going head first into a flying shark while holding a running chainsaw. To top that, he cut his way out and pulled out another of the heroes who had been earlier swallowed by that shark! Almost Biblical in nature, don’t you think?
    Had it included Tiffany or Debbie Gibson, it would have been among the top ten bad sci fi creature movies!

  4. revGDright

    Good synopsis, but you missed the key line from the weather report at the beginning. It was caused by GLOBAL WARMINGGGGG!!!!

  5. Actually, besides global warming, these’s the evil corporation dumping chemicals and/or nuclear waste, the military testing things they should not, greedy corporations testing things they should not and ancient curses. Did I miss any?

  6. revGDright

    Fracking!

  7. revGDright–You’re right! I missed that one!

  8. Great news! Sharknado made the national news and there’s an encore presentation for those of you who missed it this week! (Thursday night on SyFy) 🙂

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