Ruler Announces Biggest Heist In History

Ruler Announces Biggest Heist In History

One of the most important rulers in the world announced, in public, out loud, with no fear of threat, that she and her fellow rulers will steal “no less than THREE TRILLION in new capital, from many sources, each year, between now and 2050.” Twenty seven years. Check my math: EIGHTY ONE TRILLION bucks.

You, my dear reader, are one of the “many sources”. You will suffer this theft, my friend, and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it.

The ruler was Janet “Inflation Is Transitory” Yellen, the United States Secretary of the Treasury. She therefore is placed with perfection to swipe the money with great ease. She called, and rightly called, the upcoming Grand Theft “the single greatest opportunity of the 21st century.” Indeed.

Crime historians can correct me, but I believe this will be the largest heist in all history. Those who boast the 2003 Antwerp diamond caper, pegged at a mere \$100 million, will hang their heads in shame. Did the bankers who funded the two brother wars of the Twentieth Century make even a fraction of \$81 trillion? Whatever else we think of master criminal Yellen, she must be respected for her audacity.

Since everyone enjoys pop references, here’s an apt one from the non-Christmas movie Die Hard. The antagonist, a well-dressed thief—and here it is Yellen who must blush; she holds with the Hillary Clinton School of Fashion—explains why his theft of millions in bearer bonds necessitates blowing up a roof peopled by dozens of innocents: “When you steal \$600, you can just disappear. But when you steal \$600 million, they will find you, unless they think you’re already dead.”

Yellen’s true brilliance lies in her discovering a way to both steal the most amount ever and avoiding having to fake her death and disappear. She will steal openly.

And she will get away with it. Because she is stealing on behalf of The Planet.

The Planet, says Yellen, is under an “existential threat”. Something looms, she says, that threatens its existence! Now, given its mass, which is a bit over 13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds, this existential threat would have to be frightening indeed.

The only things I can think of that would fit that description, and here readers can help me, are such events as the sun going unexpectedly supernova, a blackhole wandering into the solar system and engulfing it, Jupiter exploding and blowing the asteroid belt our way. God wearying of our sins and commencing the Second Coming.

Pick whichever you like, or think up anything similarly destructive, and then tell us how EIGHTY ONE TRILLION DOLLARS can stop it. There isn’t an SPF high enough to keep the earth from frying, there are no defenses against black holes, there’s no way to motor the earth away from the path of millions of rocks from space. And God can’t be bribed.

There is no chance Yellen can steal enough. Not if her goal is to stop an existential threat. EIGHTY ONE TRILLION DOLLARS might as well be fifty cents.

Or maybe her idea of “existential threat” means something else.

It does. Her “existential threat” is the small possibility of a slight increase in (modeled) globally average temperature.

She calls this “existential threat” climate change. She says the money she steals will stop the earth’s climate from changing.

If she believes this, then again there is no way she can steal enough. You may as well try to escape a supernova as stop the earth’s climate from changing. Neither can be done. No amount is sufficient.

That leaves two possibilities. One, she is ignorant. Two, she is not.

If she is ignorant, her minders must see that she is no longer let in front of open microphones so that she can no longer embarrass herself. If she still wants to speak, they should give her a pretend microphone and she can play World Dominator to her heart’s content.

If she is not ignorant, then she knows the EIGHTY ONE TRILLION DOLLARS she will steal won’t do squat diddly to stop “climate change”.

She will also know she can’t keep it all herself, and must share it out to her friends, who will sell the government As-Seen-On-TV “solutions”. Shoddy plastic “technologies” (like billion dollar “carbon” suckers instead of trees) that will break after first use, and will not do one damned thing to stop “climate change.”

But no ruler or elite will care, because they will all share between them EIGHTY ONE TRILLION of your dollars.

Follow the Science.

Subscribe or donate to support this site and its wholly independent host using credit card click here. Or use the paid subscription at Substack. Cash App: \$WilliamMBriggs. For Zelle, use my email: matt@wmbriggs.com, and please include yours so I know who to thank.

14 Comments

  1. shawn marshall

    Whom the gods (demons) would destroy they first make mad?

  2. Gwyneth

    Just a wee grammatical correction.

    “…world announced, in public, out loud, with no fear of threat, that SHE and her fellow rulers will steal…”

  3. LT

    Biggest scam of all… climate change. The love of money is the root of all evil.

  4. Hagfish Bagpipe

    Chutzpah!

  5. Steve

    “Crime historians can correct me, but I believe this will be the largest heist in all history.”

    Homer Simpson voice: “The largest heist in all history so far.”

  6. Cloudbuster

    Is it a coincidence that Yellen looks like she escaped from Gringotts goblin bank, of Harry Potter fame?

  7. Dear Dr. Briggs,
    Regarding your comment on the $81T heist, that we can do nothing about it – I claim you’re wrong. Sam Gold just completed a book titled Escape, subtitled How We Can Fix Everything by Fixing Our US Dollars, to be self-published on Amazon in late September. The book is a proposal to his politically competent peers here in the fifty states to engineer new US dollars that reverse poverty, crime, and environmental degradation, by design. It provides a correct, formal set of requirements for the new US dollars, and a Request For Proposal that We the People can issue for them, along with a simple method for us all to get paid to adopt them by transferring a huge amount of spending power from the centgov to individuals, families and companies. Finally, it concludes with a detailed description of what our jobs are in order to cause this happy event to come to pass.
    By receiving your daily emails I can tell you are serious in your desire to help, and I was wondering if you might want to peruse Gold’s book to see if it is something you could get behind to promote. The first promotional help needed right now is back cover recommendation blurbs, and your name there would be a huge plus. For what it’s worth, a well-published senior research physical chemist and a retired AF colonel/attorney both provided line-by-line editing feedback and have assured Gold the logic is correct. Also, the last proofreader hired for the manuscript offered, unsolicited, to help get the word out when it is published. A synopsis and FAQ are linked at http://www.projectsalamander.org and you can read a copy of the entire book for free at http://www.projectsalamander.org/Documents/Escape.pdf. (Don’t worry about the website – it consists of 3 links to .pdfs.)

  8. Cary D Cotterman

    “…between now and 2050.” Twenty seven years. Check my math…”

    50-24=?

  9. Cary D Cotterman

    I suppose I should consider myself privileged to have been an eyewitness to three of the biggest pseudoscientific scams in history: transgenderism, Kung-flu, and the granddaddy of them all, climate hysteria. Three massively influential quasi-religious cults, all operating at the same time, serving the Democrats and their ilk throughout the globe as tools in their mission to end civilization as it has developed and improved and we have grown to love it for centuries. The fact that it’s working is all the proof we need that most people are very, very stupid.

  10. Incitadus

    The human race has been weighed in the balance and found wanting. The multidecadal attacks
    on reproduction have morphed into the wholesale deconstruction of normal. Welcome to the
    forth industrial revolution where you’ll eat bugs and be happy.

  11. Johnno

    But Briggs, what do they ACKSHULLY DO with all of that money???

    What does 81 Trillion buy them???

    Hookers? Fancy cars? Bigger houses on private islands?

    You don’t need that much for any of that stuff. Taxpayers cover for their jetsetting, meals, travel, dental, child-sex trafficking, cocaine, etc. ALL FREE! And these people are too old to do much more with their lives anyway…

    Is there some secret wars military budget?

    Are they building some space station resort?

    What possibly costs that much???

    Do they just hold on to it???

    The only solid answer I can come up with is – OUR MISERY!!!

    They LOVE IT! They can’t get enough of it!

    It’s all about hatred for us and REVENGE!!!

    It is the only thing they can come up with to combat ALL of our countless memes and jokes at their expense!

    But our humor is PRICELESS!!!

    So the joke remains on them!

    Depriving us of 81 thrills will never be enough to make us stop!

    The value of our laughter goes up in precise correlation to the inflation rate of their egos!

    Our mirth is as INFINITE as their stupidity is bottomless!!!

  12. Incitadus

    What does 81 Trillion buy them???…A planet

  13. Johnno

    But they already run the Earth. They are buying it from who? Themselves? The Russian’s and China’s portion? Like when they bought Alaska? I suppose that makes some sense… Maybe they can buy Africa and house the immigrants back there. But this is about paying for the climate. Maybe their plan is to bribe us all to medically assisted suicide with our own money to save an iceberg or two… ?

    What’s 80 trillion divided by 8 billion?

    So like, we each get around a thousand bucks?

    Well, they’ll want some of us around for intercourse, sodomy and labour, so maybe more for the undesirables.

  14. BDavi52

    Two choices? Ignorant or not?

    Indeed, there is a third and far more likely choice: She is illusioned / bewitched: living utterly & completely in a condition of delusional belief. She believes 1.5 degrees centigrade will kill the planet. She believes this because she believes in Scientism. She believes in Scientism because Scientism is fundamental to her life, her career, and the path she’s spent her life treading.

    Equally, I’m sure, she believes in Human Perfectability….that the Arc of History bends towards Justice (and that she herself can tweak that bend and accelerate the slide to Heaven on Earth. She believes in DIE. She believes in the Science of Disparate Impact. She believes that Men and Women are, quite literally, absolutely Equal in all Ways. She believes men can become women, and women, men…and she believes that transition is possible via Declaration & Drugs.

    She believes in Lived Truths, Orgasm Gaps, Male/Female (whatever they are) Earnings Gaps. She most probably believes all actresses really are actors.

    She lives in Progressive FantasyLand and calls it Real.

    This is not a question of ignorance or not; this is Down the Rabbit Hole / Crashing through the Looking Glass / Snarfing the Blue Pill (making you very small, indeed) Mad Hatterness.

    I don’t think there’s a cure.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *