How Did Such A Smart Guy Get So Stupid: Bill Gates & Cow Farts 

CLASS RESUMES NEXT MONDAY.

Bill Gates can’t be an idiot. I take his career as obvious proof of this. The man has made a mark. Then retired from that which made him his moola. Then he became, well, quite stupid.

Here is one of an increasing set of evidence of the baffling behavior in which Billy Boy now indulges himself. He frets about cows farting.

Cattle, he says, account for “6% of of global emissions” of methane. I have no idea if that’s true or false. But it is a concerning figure for our Billy.

I looked up (not remembering the precise number) how much methane is in the air. NOAA says 1930 parts per billion. Or so: plus or minus. Another way to write that is as a fraction:

0.00000193.

This is as a fraction of the total stuff swirling around us. NOAA also says there’s about a 10 part per billion (ppb) increase of methane per annum. That’s this much in fractional terms:

0.00000001.

Now let’s remove all of the 6% that Billy says, and we’ll trust him, cows contribute to the annual increase (we can’t remove what they have already contributed). Which is this much:

0.0000000006.

Which, after next year’s increase, gives this amount (the old plus the new increase, sans cow contributions):

0.00000193 + 0.0000000006 = 0.000001939.

This is the best case ideal situation, don’t forget, where all methane from cow farts is contained or eliminated by forcing us to eat lab-generated meat (which presumably generates 0 methane).

It can’t be believed that old Billy’s efforts will get 100% of that 6%, nor anything close to it. Don’t forget that eliminating cow farts is not a scientific solution, but a political one. There’s no way old Billy can contribute enough of his own parts per billion of his total wealth to convince the entire world to give up meat.

What’s a good guess of how much he can get? This source says there’s about a billion cows in the world. Yum. Can Billy’s French friends strap active carbon diapers to a billion cows? No, sir, they cannot. How about—and let’s be exceedingly generous—10%, or 100 million cows? Assuming these diapers don’t leak, and the cows don’t burp, then old Billy’s plan can reduce the methane increase by 10% of the 6%, which is 0.006 of the total, or this much

0.00000000006.

I don’t believe it, but one nervous source says methane accounts for 30% of the increase in global temperatures. I don’t believe it because it’s model driven, and climate models’ veracity are questionable (another generous word). But let’s use it. At best, the absolute best we can imagine, old Billy’s plan will reduce the increase in global temperatures by about

0.18%.

All right, so what. What does that mean in terms of actual temperature? Climate.gov says the rate of increase in global temperature is about 0.11°F per decade. Who knows how true it is, and I don’t think it has much veracity, but it’s official. That 0.11°F per decade makes 0.011°F per year. Which means, in the first year alone of old Billy’s plan, we can shave off

0.0000198°F

from the coming yearly increase. If the models and his plan is perfect and he can diaper, or eliminate, 100 million cows.

Scoff at this number if you like, but it’s been so cold here in Michigan this summer that I would gratefully accept it.

Alas, having grown cynical of science, I do not believe even the 0.000198°F, and think the real effect would be much, much less.

I don’t know if old Billy believes the number or not. To believe or not would mean he has made the kinds of calculations we did. Has he? One doubts. But suppose he has and does believe. Then he is crazy or stupid. He does not otherwise seem crazy or stupid. Which means the explanation must lie elsewhere.

Some guess this is his way to foist fake meat on the public, using fear to sell it to politicians, many of whom are actively and maliciously stupid. There might be something to this. But, I think, not much. Because if old Billy was merely avaricious he wouldn’t be earnestly trying to give so much of this own money away.

He could want power. Depriving people of meat is right up there in terms of hard, bold power moves. Seems to me, though, that the sort of power he seeks is nerd power. He doesn’t care that people obey him so much as he desires people believe his sciencey beliefs.

That leaves us with True Believer. He has bought “climate change”. He surrounds himself with those who preach it. And the reason he surrounds himself with Experts is because he fears what these Experts whisper in his ear.

Fear, then, is my explanation for old Billy’s curious behavior.

Subscribe or donate to support this site and its wholly independent host using credit card click here. Or use the paid subscription at Substack. Cash App: $WilliamMBriggs. For Zelle, use my email: matt@wmbriggs.com, and please include yours so I know whom to thank.