I am hoping that among my faithful readers there is somebody that knows somebody who might know a guy who’s looking for a statistician.
The economy is such that consulting opportunities are rarer than a conservative at NPR. So in the interest of continuing to finance my daily three, I thought I should turn my ability of wearing suits—and liking it—into cash by finding a real job. Do any companies still require suits?
My sometime unorthodox views, and insistence on remaining in New York City when going would have been wiser, have made it difficult to discover a position in a research university. Despite some earlier opportunities, I stayed put until the two young gentlemen who I’m responsible for could be booted onto the streets without me incurring legal penalties.
I would love to teach at a school where the students actually want to learn and are not there just to “Get a degree.” In my fantasy, these kids matriculate already knowing how to write and are not unfamiliar with multiplication and division of two-digit numbers. And since this is my hallucination, I envision the college shares my desires and puts knowledge (and not “diversity”, etc.) first. Sigh.
There are these places called “think tanks”, and although I’ve never seen one, I picture them as highly walled zoos in which curious specimens of thinking animals are kept on display and are made to perform (on paper) for food. I have no contacts with zookeepers.
I wouldn’t fit in well with (standard) pharmaceutical companies. The work that they do is constrained and restricted by the dictates of various bureaucracies, and necessarily they are not interested in the kind of statistics I preach.
I am a mean R programmer (I curse the computer a lot) and am eager to demonstrate the usefulness of predictive statistics to some adventurous firm.
Re-location is fine (and easy; we only rent). For years, I’ve been trying to find a way back into Texas where I started my illustrious career, via, it’s true, the nepotism of my Uncle Sam. I don’t want to live in California, as gorgeous as that state is (I would like to keep at least some of the money given to me by my potential employer).
I’m free immediately. The only hitch is that I promised Cornell I would teach a two-week course at the end of this June.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call (beginning Monday, 17 January) 917-392-0691.