Black Friday! A New Horror Film

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the mall….get ready for….

THE CONSUMER!

 

Watch as THE CONSUMER prowls through suburban parking lots! Marvel as he waits in line in the predawn hours to stalk his prey! See how hearing the word Sale sends him into a frenzy!

Every person THE CONSUMER touches becomes a CONSUMER himself!

You…could…be….next!

THE CONSUMER must consume…he must buy buy buy buy buy…his only purpose is to use use use use use!

Created by Mad Scientists in their BLACK FRIDAY laboratory in a bizarre and futile attempt to boost the economy, THE CONSUMER overthrew its masters and has become unstoppable!

None can stand against THE CONSUMER as he rushes to his office on CYBER MONDAY to drink in the artificial fluorescent light and create his PowerPoint DECK to earn the money which he will use to CONSUME!

What hero can resist the temptation and evil menace of THE CONSUMER?!

Watch BLACK FRIDAY! and find out!

Coming to a store near you.

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Posted in Fun

6 Thoughts

  1. Sorry, I have never been touched and became a consumer. My hubby and I were contemplating our poor performance as consumers—furniture 30 to 90+ years old, clothing usually purchased on sale (NEVER black friday) or garage sales, haven’t been to brick and mortar stores for years (Walmart, the mall, etc). If the economy depended on us, we’d all be toast. Plus, being anti-social, there is no way I’m going out at 4 am to shop. I don’t have enough bail money…..

    Oh, I read yesterday people were complaining stores were open Thanksgiving and how horrible that is. Not really. When your idiot relatives (why you invite them, I’ll never understand…) bring up impeachment or Biden or LGBQTLKJOIJEWJAF, just excuse yourself and escape to the Mall. It’s a perfectly good choice, probably saving many Thanksgiving get-togethers. I’m all for it.

  2. Listen here smart guy, consumers are just doing what they’re told. SPEND is the mantra of business, the high priests of consumerism. Consumption is the American religion with it’s own ceremonies, liturgy and Holidays of obligatory. Don’t mess with “corporate cosmology”. Don’t open the window and shout “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”. Otherwise, you’ll get a talking to.

  3. And the hero of the movie? The D-Team – dispatched from the Lenin Institute for Consumer Reform and committed to forcing consumers into well ordered bread lines.

  4. Yes, I am a consumer. But I am also a PRODUCER. So I appreciate all you little consumers out there. I love you as a matter of fact.

    Remember this, though. As you buy up all the extracted resources from your brick-and-mortar emporiums, and motor home in your extracted resource autos to your extracted resource homes, and sit down at your extracted resource tables to consume your extracted resource dinners, and bow your head in a prayer of thanksgiving before digging in…

    Please remember in that prayer to give thanks to those who made possible your plenty: the farmers and ranchers and miners and foresters, the stewards of the land, who extract those resources for your needs and desires, who actualize your extravagant wishes, and care for land so it might always provide for you.

    Please do not exterminate our herds, lock up and burn our forests, shutter our mines, or commandeer our farms. Grasping politicians and Deep State functionaries are not stewards. Give thanks to the real producers. They are your life blood.

  5. @Paul, you can be against communism and consumerism simultaneously. They both, at the root, worship the same god, materialism.

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