Reader Challenge: Is This Article A Troll, Or Are We Doomed?

Okay, girls and boys, and even you girls who think your boys, and vice versa. Here’s a challenge for you. Read through the article at this link — Struggling with climate anxiety? You’re not alone — and decide whether it’s a clever troll, or it’s in earnest, and hence we are doomed.

If it’s a troll, then print this article out and bring it to parties. For every goofy phrase, hysterical hyperbole, and nutty neologism take a shot. Best water down the booze first, though, or there will be many crise du foi.

If it’s not a troll, then it will be obvious we are doomed. Because if these people are for real, we cannot survive.

Ready…set…go!

Excerpts For The Busy

These are trying times. Mass extinction, mass destruction, massive injustice — it can be flat-out depressing. One common prescription for climate woe is: Do something…

Climate woe? Take a shot!

No one understands this better than the folks who are knee-deep in these issues every day. So I talked to three solutionaries about how they cope with the stress, and how they manage to shake the weight of the world off their shoulders…

Solutionaries? Take a shot!

The experts: Olatunji Oboi Reed, founder of the racial justice nonprofit Equiticity, who was named to the Grist 50 in 2018; Kristen Poppleton, director of programs at the youth leadership organization Climate Generation; and Margaret Klein Salamon, a clinical psychologist turned climate mobilizer who directs the advocacy group The Climate Mobilization.

Equiticity? Climate mobilizer? Don’t take a shot yet. For we next notice that none of the “experts” knows zipadedoodah about physics. Take three shots!

Let’s hear from the “experts”.

KRISTEN: So I started out as a naturalist. But at some point I just started feeling like…Like…like…like…

Like, I was all, like, those are, like, a lot of likes.

OBOI: Well, let me back up a little bit. I’m 45. I’ve struggled with depression since high school…I didn’t acknowledge that I had depression. Then I went to corporate America…So I would get severely depressed, have to take time off, get back to work, be alright, and then get depressed again… I was severely depressed and isolated at home for quite some time…I became a cyclist.

If you can’t see how that ties to global warming, you may be depressed.

MARGARET: So, psychotherapy is kind of my family business. My parents met in clinical psychology graduate school. Virtually all of our family friends had at least one member who is a psychoanalyst. I mean it’s kind of like a religion…

The big turning point for me was when my good friend said to me, “Discourse isn’t enough. Think: What could you do to actually solve this problem?”…I just realized there’s nothing else that I want anywhere near as much as I want to do everything I can to try to, as we say at The Climate Mobilization, cancel the apocalypse.

I look forward to her treatise “Carbon Dioxide’s Vibrational Modes and Their Relationship To Penis Envy”.

[KRISTEN] I mean, I live in probably the most liberal neighborhood of one of the most liberal cities in the state of Minnesota, which is one of the most liberal states in the country. My friends are all on board with climate change being real. But it’s still like a weight you carry around that you feel like no one else really gets. It’s this burden. Even my husband, he’s like, “Oh, that’s your job to carry that burden,” you know? And when people say, “It’s so great you’re doing that,” I’m, like, “Uh, hi. Everyone needs to do something!”

Uh, hello. I’m like, shocked that, like, this female, like, found a man to, like, share her life and, like, burdens.

[OBOI] What’s hurtful and harmful for me is the racism inherent in the work. Shortly after I started the bike club, the mayor [of Chicago] at the time, he was rolling out this huge strategy for bikes, right? Bike lanes, and Divvy — our bike-share system. And I was quoted in the New York Times, in essence saying, it’s great what the mayor is doing, however, should the historical pattern repeat itself, bicycle resources will be concentrated in predominantly white and middle- to upper-income neighborhoods, and we’ll see a trickle of those resources.

Oh, boy.

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14 Thoughts

  1. Probably for real. Grist has been around for two decades. The length also suggests that this is in earnest.
    Since there is no technical content there is nothing to get riled up about. Thes is also evidence, slight, of not being a troll.

    I’m going with doomed.

  2. Depressingly doomed.

    The PC-Progs began inserting anti-Normal payloads into our culture via education/academia, the media, and Hollywood in the 1920s.

    Climate hysteria is one of the results of the constant bombardment of children with anti-Normal messages. Influence operations work. They are powerful. However, the results are not predictable, nor controllable.

    These three pitiful wretches are trying to make the most of their pitifully wretched mental states induced by the anti-Normal information they’ve been force-fed their entire lives.

    Until Normals control the messages presented by education/academia, the media, and Hollywood, emotional cripples like this will proliferate.

    See Ayn Rand’s “Anthem” for a close-up of the fate of a culture that goes down this road without correction:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthem_%28novella%29

  3. Not Trolling.

    KRISTEN (the naturalist) on why she is grateful:

    My kids. And that’ll make me cry right now, just saying that out loud. They’re little hope machines.

    [Don’t worry Kristen honey, they’ll turn into little Greta Thumberg’s before you know it.]

  4. They’re for real. But, in #current_year, it is impossible to distinguish any actual Left wing opinion or policy from parody. The Left has completely divorced itself from objective reality. They worship unreality, and praise insanity.

    The coming civil war can’t arrive soon enough. Horrific though it will be, it still beats the alternative the Left has planned for us.

  5. “Solutionaries”??

    Make sure your survey includes 1/3 people with mental illness. Just who I always go to for effective solutions to pressing problems.

    Oh, and bitch that the bike-lane solution to global warming gets implemented most comprehensively in the neighborhoods of those who whine the most about it, and ignoring – AGAIN – the black neighborhoods. Because the pressing problem in the black neighborhoods of Chicago is global climate change.

    We’re doomed.

  6. Poe’s law:

    “Poe’s law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author’s intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the views being parodied.”

  7. This is what happens when you make up a religion with collective salvation and no afterlife. People get discouraged when their utmost efforts to change the world amount to nothing. The protest march ends, city workers sweep up the copious trash it dropped, and the event is summarily forgotten.

    We aren’t doomed, they are. Liberalism sanctifies every sort of non-procreative lifestyle. White liberals are contracepting themselves out of existence to save species that view them as food.

  8. The names sounds made-up to me, then again, according to DuckDuckGo Adelphi University actually exists. That could indicate trolling, but if this magazine is for real, the interviews themselves are fake.

    So, not trolling, but Fake Human Interest.

  9. Not trolling. These are damaged people. Naive Kristen got taken by propagandists. Oboi is predisposed to despair. And Margaret – descended from and raised by psychologists – enough said there. No doubt these poor souls feel some cathartic effect from confessing their fears. So the author picked sympathetic victims to misdirect readers. Modern “journalism.”

  10. “Why is everyone acting normal? Why, when I walk down the street in Brooklyn, are there still all these people, like, idling their cars? Am I crazy or are they crazy?… It’s really an amazing thing to be part of that. I sound like such a hippie …”

    Hahahahahahahahaha!

    No need to worry about these deranged pathetics. There are bigger problems, such as when will PG&E turn my power back on? Luckily I have a gas generator so I can charge my electric car…

  11. Not satire, I think, but not doom either. A majority has always been low-information and mentally lazy. They used to just complain to each other face-to-face in small groups, but now the Internet has provided them outsized visibility. Despite the massive effort to get these low-information types registered to vote, they still mostly don’t bother. The pervasive apathy in the great unwashed is a good thing – it should be promoted.

    There are a number of topics that I either don’t care about, or am too lazy to spend the time and effort to understand. When those topics appear on a ballot, I leave them unvoted. If everybody did that, I think we’d have far less voter-imposed inanity to deal with.

    “Every nation gets the government it deserves.”

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