Nobody could possibly have foreseen that our beneficent government—which loves us and only wants what is best for us and in no way had anything to do with Jeffrey Epstein’s death (remember him?)—would pump chemicals into the water supply to keep us happy and calm.
Or maybe somebody could have and did foresee, but that doesn’t count. Because this is the Current Year and our government is now staffed with highly credentialed experts. Experts know best.
Take the experts who run the Journal of Medical Ethics. They published the article “Frequently overlooked realistic moral bioenhancement interventions” by an up-and-coming expert Conan the Sophisticate.
Conan the Sophisticate wants medical experts, who are experts and therefore know best, as said above; this Conan The Sophisticate wants to inject chemicals into the water or food supply. He hasn’t made up his mind yet which of these sources is best to lace, which proves his humility.
The benefits of having higher trace lithium levels in the water supply raise the question of whether the public water supply should be intentionally supplemented with trace lithium, like how many American cities fluoridate tap water. However, public water is often used for purposes other than consumption. Goldstein and Mascitelli suggested fortifying grain foods with trace lithium to waste less of it. They still suggested improving behaviour through biomedical treatment to increase self-control, though, so they recommended MBE.
“Say, Briggs, what’s this MBE these well meaning experts speak of?”
Glad you asked, friend. MBE = (mandatory) Moral BioEhancement. The parentheses around “mandatory” are meant to indicate the hidden nature of the mandatory food contaminations; they do not mean the mandatory poisoning of the food supply won’t be mandatory, for it will be mandatory, just not spoken of in broad company.
Lithium functions much like television, which is at least still voluntary, unless you are in an airport. It is a soporific and dullness maker, like Aldus Huxley’s soma. Ask your doctor if soma is right for you.
Conan the Sophisticate is hoping lithium will help in “reducing racial bias”, enhancing “cognitive empathy”, and will modify folks’ “fairness or executive function.” “By ‘executive function’ I mean self-control, will-power, cognitive flexibility and working memory.”
They need to monkey with memory so you don’t recall what you are eating.
Other chemicals are a possibility. Take ” 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA, or ‘ecstasy’)”, which would be used “to enhance positive and prosocial emotions and testosterone reduction to reduce aggression”.
Criminals will get the most up-to-date forms of lobotomy, such as “transcranial direct current stimulation”. The voltage, we might guess, would be directly proportional to the severity of the crime. Car thieves and murderers would be hooked to a Duracell. Racists and white supremacists would be forced to bite through extension cords.
Now Conan the Sophisticate is still young enough and early in his career that he might be taken out behind the barn and have explained to him, patiently and with great care, why poisoning the food supply to make zombies of citizens is a grave sin. There is a chance, a small one, he would take these corrections to heart and choose a different path.
Alas, there are too few men left, and anyway Conan the Sophisticate is far from alone. He cites a couple of dozen other highly credentialed experts—most of whom we at one time would have called psychopaths—which is evidence of a rich literature. This is proof experts are tiring of us and aren’t going to accept our behavior much longer.
They will accept any excuse to intervene. In the name of Science, of course.
Don’t think Conan the Sophisticate and his hand-rubbing confreres haven’t considered objections to their program of perfection. Drawing from a hilariously inaptly named H. Wiseman, Conan the Sophisticate says:
For any politician to explicitly propose an MBE programme would be ‘unthinkable in liberal states’ and ‘political suicide’…
You’d think that would be that. Alas, no. For once experts have convinced themselves of their expertise, very little can dissuade them from their take: “any MBE programme must be ‘indirect, subtle’ and ‘covert’ (p79, emphasis Wiseman’s).”
Covert. Emphasis mine.
Our Conan the Sophisticate is politically adept to know there is almost no difference between corporations and government: “MBE could be implemented by private organisations, making its political feasibility less relevant.”
To get the ball slowing, insurance and other companies could offer cash or discounts to those who “voluntary” undergo MBE. “If you want to work at Megacorp, you have to eat these pills. It’s a free choice.”
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