Yes, you read the title right. It really happened. Here’s the headline: “Last Night, The Wing Welcomed Hillary Clinton Into Their Coven.”
She was awarded on 3 April “an honorary lifetime Wing membership”, which comes, we are told, with free cosmetics. It’s unclear whether Hillary viewed that as an insult. Most likely not. She tweeted of her time at the coven that she was “Inspired by [their] passion and commitment.”
The group is called The Wing. It was started by Audrey Gelman and Lauren Kassan in 2016. It is not a woman’s club. Gelman said, “We’re a coven, not a sorority.” Gelman’s mother is actress Lena Dunham’s therapist, and the younger Gelman was reportedly the inspiration for Dunham’s show Girls.
The Cut reported that “One of The Wing’s inaugural events was a festive Election Night party (attended by about 80 women) in anticipation of a Clinton victory. That night, of course, didn’t go as planned.”
The New York Times reported coven members hoped that night would be a “crowning event.”
Warning to readers: do not rely on the coven’s spells in presidential elections.
When is a Coven not a Coven?
The Wing operates several covens around the country. That is, they called them covens until news that Hillary attended a meeting came out. Then they switched the names of their meeting places to “spaces”.
They did call them covens, however. The New York Times remembers. The Wayback Machine dating from as late as 4 April still lists the spaces as “covens” (though because of difficulties displaying the archive, the source code of the page has to be viewed).
The Wing’s web people didn’t do a perfect job of scrubbing mentions of covens, at least not yet. Because the URL of the application to join a once-coven-now-space is “witches.the-wing.com/apply” (“witches” can also be seen in the archive source code). The old default error page was a still from the film The Witch, a movie with the “happy” ending of a little girl turned witch running off with a demon to see the world.
Get Shopping, Ladies
Or maybe they weren’t trying to scrub the word after all. Because on the Shopping section of the site, you can buy all kinds of coven-branded merchandise. Such as the “Web Coven Beanie.” The beanie features a badge with the slogan “Incantations, Shouts & Chants” and has the words “wing spells” right below the sigil of a half moon over a “W”. The buyer is advised the been will “Keep your magic warm.”
The beanie is a perfect match for the “Wing Coven Longsleeve Tee.” This has the words “Wing Coven Member” encircling a pentagram, a design long the favorite of witches and satanists everywhere. Unexplained under the order button are the words “Move witch, get out the way.”
If pentagrams aren’t your thing, you should click here to read the rest.