Our friend Dover Beach, perhaps after having taken a fall or because he stood too close to Hillary and caught her disease, considered it would be well to interview Yours Truly at his site The Ordeal of Consciousness.
Please go there and read that. When you’re done, don’t miss his interview with Jim Kalb. Or his many excellent links and videos to topics philosophical. Put his blog on your regular list of stops.
As good a job as Beach did, he left out a few essential questions, which I take the liberty of asking myself.
WMB Who are you?
Briggs Like Pope Francis said, a sinner.
WMB What is your favorite color?
Briggs I’m no racist. I don’t see color.
WMB Why aren’t more men wearing vests, also known as waistcoats?
Briggs Fear of being thought too well dressed.
WMB I understand that you identify as a yak?
Briggs I used to. I now identify as Holy Roman Emperor William I of the World. Only bigots and holyromanemperorophobes fail to acknowledge this.
WMB What will be your first acts as Emperor?
Briggs The elimination of democracy, the public flogging of pornographers, the restoration of hard currencies, both electronic and gold, the strict control of borders (any who want to leave can), the requirement that all men wear hats while outdoors, the civic recognition of the Church, and, if necessary so that there be no misunderstandings, vivid demonstrations of Authority. That’s day one.
WMB What proof have you of your Emperor status?
Briggs My assertion is all that is needed. To demand objective, scientific proof is to be a hate-filled holyromanemperorophobe.
WMB What sort of hats?
Briggs There will be many, depending on one’s status, age, rank, and, naturally, the weather. Ball caps will be proscribed outside of stadia and golf courses.
WMB What can you tell us of your future relations with Vladimir Putin?
Briggs I will negotiate for the steady importation of pelmeni and dill in exchange for barrels of Old Overholt or near substitutes.
WMB Thank you for your time. In closing, would you like to tell us a good joke?
Briggs One snowman said to the other, “That’s funny. I smell carrots, too.”