Obama responds to the Fruit-of-the-Loom Bomber; White House now officially resembles Naked Gun

“We will not rest until we find all who were involved and hold them accountable,” Mr. Obama told reporters during a break in his vacation.

He and Michelle then went to “grab a bite to eat.”

Thus, the Obama administration began to resemble a Zucker brothers, Jim Abrahams movie. Our glorious leader’s line was no different than the one used by Lieutenant Frank Drebbin and Captain Ed Hocken from Police Quad, who, in Naked Gun, just told Nordberg’s wife that not one person on the force would rest until Nordberg’s attackers were brought to justice.

Then they went to “grab a bite to eat.”

Even the New York Times (D)—the New York Times (D)—noticed this, and said, “Pictures of passengers enduring tougher security screening at the airport were juxtaposed against images of the president soaking in the sun and surf of this tropical getaway.” Good golly!

In his press conference, before stepping out for lunch, Mr Obama also said: “The American people should be assured that we are doing everything in our power to keep you and your family safe and secure during this busy holiday season.”

They are, in actual fact, doing “everything in their power.” And ain’t that a dirty shame?

Because Janet Napolitano was able to say immediately after the attack—that is, she was heard chanting: “The system worked…The system worked…The system worked.” She was engaged so intently, that the White House press secretary Robert Gibbs thought, at first, that this was to be the official line.

Or maybe Napolitano thought it was her duty to provide the the laugh line. Just like Lt. Drebbin did after a missile had crashed into a fireworks factory, with predicable results. “Nothing to see here. Go about your business. There is nothing to see here.”

Once Napolitano realized that reporters overheard her internal conversation, she was forced to announce, “The system did not work.”

Asked to ‘splain herself, she said that what she meant, when she had been mumbling, “The system worked”, was that “Once the incident occurred, the system worked.”

Incidentally, the NY Times called this statement reversal—I am not kidding, folks—a recalibration of her original remarks. The apocalypse is surely nigh.

In recalibrating, Napolitano inadvertently leaked what must be the administration’s secret plan to thwart terrorism (this must have been what she meant when she said “once the incident occurred”): (1) install Dutch tourists on all flights (it was a Dutch man who smacked the terrorist down), and—you heard it here first!— (2) infiltrate terrorist camps and train them to be bumbling instead of efficient.

Because this “incident” was bumbling, Obama, and everybody else, has been calling this a “failed” terrorist attack.

My dear friends: it was not a failed attack. It was an attack, a successful one, just one with a low body count. It’s time to recalibrate the sentiment that “everything’s OK, all is well” simply because a lot of blood was not spilled (as it was in Ft. Hood).

If Abdulmutallab hadn’t peed on his PETN, the bodies, what would have been left of them, would have been stacked beside the runway still. (And Obama would have been forced to end his vacation early, and his golf game would have suffered.)

All is not well and the Obama administration’s system is inept. Abdulmutallab did everything he could to announce his evil intentions before the flight. He didn’t even have a passport! All Abdulmutallab needed to board the plane was his Al Qaeda membership card and a healthy dose of political correctness.

He even wore his “Terrorist” baseball cap—which security made him take off before he went through the metal detector. About the only thing Abdulmutallab didn’t do was to wear a vest of dynamite with an alarm clock attached.

After first crying, “It’s not my fault!” the administration sprang into action and instituted new, stricter rules on passenger behavior. Among these: disallowing extended toilet stays (no more Mile High club initiations for the foreseeable future), forced seating for the last hour of flights, plus no blankets or pillows in that same time.

Ah, the lovely scent of overreaction and misapplied focus. Yes, my dear readers, these actions are idiotic. Unless you believe, as the administration clearly does, that no terrorist would ever figure to set his bomb off before the last hour of a flight. Bin Laden must be fuming in his cave, “Curses! The Great Satan has taken away our ability to blow up its airplanes in the last hour of the flight! However can we restore our terroristic abilities!?”

They are still refusing to consider the one action that would greatly reduce the odds of letting a terrorist board. Because, of course, it might hurt some people’s feelings.