Been a while since I looked out the climate window, because why? Because I figured there’d be nothing to see. After two decades of failed forecasts I assumed most modelers would have embraced reality over theory and found something useful to do with their time.
And do you know, some have. I’m naming no names, but some scientists who in the past were breathless from their exertions warning a feckless world that certain doom was imminent have withdrawn from the field of battle, a measured retreat. They have not gone so far as to renounce their former affiliations and beliefs—after all, some of their best friends award government grants—but when asked direct questions about the dire state of the atmosphere, they mumble their answers.
Those who always saw global warming as the perfect political cause have noticed. And they’re beginning to panic. If activists can’t point to Science as their ally, they know they’ll end up sounding like environmentalism’s version of homeopathists.
So they’re ratcheting up the rhetoric hoping to score some victories while they still have time. The audience for their false prophecies is not you, dear reader. It would be a tremendous mistake of your part to assume the perpetually ardent want to win over any but politicians, by agitating the untutored masses who support those politicians. Activists still have the microphone, which is to say the press, which sympathizes with the goals of environmentalists, but who do not care how these goals are obtained.
This is why we are seeing headlines like this one from The Guardian: Weatherwatch: Did warm weather cause the Titanic disaster? “Wow! Global warming killed that Leonard Caprio guy!” is what they hope readers take from this preposterous story, which is laden with future threats to luxury liners to be caused by global warming. Incidentally, in an email to Yours Truly and others, Steven Goddard said, “According to GISS, [the year the Titanic was sunk] was the third coldest year on record.” Also see this analysis.
Here’s a favorite, from the Poughkeepsie Journal: Sustainably Speaking: Gender equality and climate change. The title alone tells all you need to know: that with global warming, weather is only a sideline. The title is a minor variant on the old (and now very worn) joke, “World Ends: Women, Minorities Hardest Hit.” The article speaks of “gender-role considerations in decision-making processes.” And it asks, “Why are gender role considerations necessary for climate policies?” That they aren’t escapes the author of that piece.
One from the Lincoln Journal is particularly relevant. “Climate change still the top issue” rings the headline. The article contains this telling sentence, “Scientific studies have determined that climate change, which environmentalists still say is their most pressing issue, is largely caused by humans burning fossil fuels and deforestation…” Environmentalists say. Not Dr So-and-So from the Vienna Institute On Deadly Climate Change says. Indeed, the only quote they could dig up was from a fellow called the “director of public policy and government relations at Mass Audubon.”
Another straw grasped at is methane, as this Forbes headline shows: Eager For A Climate Change Win, Obama Picks A Fresh Target: Methane. This tactic is understandable. Carbon dioxide was becoming shopworn. There are only so many times the average reader can see “CO2” before his eyes glaze over. Why not try a new molecule, see if it sticks? Unfortunately for environmentalists, their intended audience yucked it up so loudly over the inevitable cow-fart jokes to remember to be frightened.
Remember that avalanche on Mt Everest a while back that killed a few unfortunates? Avalanches on mountains are far from rare, but this one, say activists, was caused by global warming.
And so on.
You can’t blame environmentalists for tying century-old ship wrecks and mundane mountain avalanches on global warming (which they insist on calling “climate change”). After all, there has been a dearth of hurricanes, typhoons, tornadoes, and heat waves, and this Northern Hemisphere winter still lingers. They had to have something to stir up angst, some event, any event, with which to agitate the natives.
Hence this prediction: look for headlines blaming any and every mishap, no matter how silly or obscure, on global warming. This is their last gasp and they know it. Should make for some harmless fun.
Update Global warming causes Hindenburg to esplode! (Not a typo.) Think about it. An planned gust of wind pushed the dirigible too far and thus kabloom! And we all know what causes gusts of wind, don’t we? Global warming, that’s what.
Seems to me we have only scratched the disaster surface. What other historical calamities did global warming cause? The reader who has the best entry wins our gratitude (well, that’s worth something, right?).
Update My aunt sent this to me. It’s not the same guy! Ahhh!
May Social Dinner & Movie in Hunterdon County 5/8 at 7pm
May 8, 2014, Thursday 7:00 pm
The Ship Inn, 61 Bridge Street, Milford, NJ 08848
(10 mi. south of Easton, on the Delaware)
Event Leader: Susan Schirmer at email@example.com
Movie: DEEP GREEN: Solutions to Stop Global Warming Now
Description: Global Warming cannot be stopped as long as dirty fossil fuels run our planet. We can fix this and Deep Green shows us how. Director, Matthew Briggs takes us on a compelling journey to 9 countries to uncover the best ideas, cutting-edge technologies and restorative solutions. The best applications worldwide in energy efficiency, green building, de-carbonizing transportation, sustainable agriculture, renewable energy, smart grids, forest restoration. And personal solutions to lower our individual carbon load. Includes legendary authors Lester Brown and Michael Pollan; and scientists Amory Lovins and Dr. David Suzuki. Visit China’s green revolution; Franceâ€™s 224-mph high-speed trains; Swedenâ€™s “greenest city in Europe”; preview Project DESERTEC: the super-sized smart grid to supply renewable energy to all of Europe and North Africa. 2010 – 101 minutes