A guy named Adam Sacks—as in two—published a list of the five worst enemies of all mankind.
George W. Bush is there, of course. But then, he was put down from birth. There can be no denying Bush is the Secular Antichrist—there is scarcely an ill in the world for which he is not at least partly, if not wholly, responsible—so we would have been suspicious of the list’s veracity had Bush not been included.
Senator James Inhofe and inactivist Marc Morano take up two slots, but these gentlemen are politicians and so are accustomed to calumny.
But, strangely, MIT’s Dick Lindzen and Bjørn Lomborg are there. A dynamicist and an economist are “criminals against humanity, against planet Earth itself”, are “agents” of “lethal delay”?
The only thing I can figure is that Sacks must have had a harrowing experience in his college calculus and statistics classes. But then, a lot of people do; however, most do not snap as Sacks appears to have.
The abyss into which Sacks has dived is deep. He’s not really upset with our five Enemies—they can’t help their evil natures, after all. He’s frustrated, sad, and disappointed that his fellow activists aren’t weeping and gnashing their teeth as loudly as he.
We see in his words a mind well in the grip of True Religion. He says things like “disruption”, “utter collapse”, “[positive feedback] amplification hell”, “irreparably”, “lethal”. He claims true scientists (“untrue” scientists are those that don’t agree with him) admit privately that they are “panicked” but that they won’t say so publicly because of the fear of rejection from citizens who “can’t take” the truth. He tells of attending an activist conference where a
…cartoon flashes onto the screen, showing the entrance to two different movie theatres. One is showing “An Inconvenient Truth,” which has no customers. The other, “A Convenient Lie,” has drawn a large crowd. The implication, of course, is that the public (whom we chronically assume is dumb) doesn’t want to know.
Perhaps he, and the presenter, have forgotten that the public ate up Inconvenient Truth with a spoon. It was a big hit!
To Sacks, the End is not Near, it has already come and gone. We’re just not clever enough to have noticed. But somehow he hasn’t carried his premise through to its logical conclusion: that if his lovingly created worst fears are true, then we have nothing to worry about. Might as well pop another top and enjoy the chemically colored sunset while it lasts.
But, no. He is an activist and therefore recommends activity. His solution is that “we have to start telling the truth about climate. We have never actually tried it!” (emphasis in original).
I was relieved when I read that. By the time I had got that far in his melancholy screed, I would have bet good money that he would have touted the Progressive’s timeless call of “Off with their heads!” Silly words I can take, sharp blades wielded by slogan-chanting maniacs I cannot.
Anyway, the title Sacks awarded is just too cool. Enemy of All Mankind! I wanted it for myself. I know dynamics and statistics, so I felt envy at my name’s exclusion. I asked to be added:
[I]t really would be an honor and career topper. I wouldn’t take my duties as Enemy lightly, no sir. I would boast of it, even create a coffee cup with the logo “Stay Away! Enemy of All Humanity!” or words to that effect (I’d welcome suggestions, of course).
And I promise that whenever anybody asks me about the title’s origination, I’d mention your name.
My plea went unheard!
I would have been a good spokesman for Evil, too, dammit. I’m not as handsome as Lomborg, but I sure have Lindzen beat. Plus, I’m tall and look great in a suit. That should have meant something, especially since the title carries certain public relations obligations.
I’m a man of my word, too. I would have had that coffee cup made up. I could still do it, but I’d blush to tell people that the title is self-imposed. One just doesn’t label oneself an irredeemable Scourge of the Future: the title must be granted by others.
Sigh. The closest I have come to this kind of honor was back in school after I had answered an integration question a little too quickly, shaming my compatriots. In recognition of my feat, they drew up a “Calculus Dick of the Day Award” certificate (made from something peeled off a tennis shoe). Which to this day I display proudly.