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Category: Fun

Two cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

April 16, 2018 | 4 Comments

Chicken Chicken Chicken Chik-Fil-A

Sanity took a hit to the gizzard when the New Yorker posted an article by an atheist presumably addicted to Chick-fil-A sandwiches and ashamed of his obsession.

The article is “Chick-fil-A’s Creepy Infiltration of New York City.” The writer is Dan Piepenbring from Brooklyn, whose Twitter bio reads in part “I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls.”

The benefit of modest goals is that it is east to meet them. And then we remember it is at malls where Chick-fil-A restaurants are often found. It appears Piepenbring went to one too many.

The black truth is that once an addict starts on a bag of waffle fries there is no stopping him until he reaches the salty end. He enters a strange, exotic mall and is not able to overcome the irresistible force driving him to the food court. He will feel that he is outside himself, that it is another person altogether, who for the fourth time that day orders a chicken biscuit. With cheese.

He will hate himself after. And he will hate his obsession. If he is too far gone, he might even hate God.

A Slave to Taste Buds

What else can account for Piepenbring calling the opening of a new Chick-fil-A branch an “infiltration”? Why else would he cry against the chain’s “pervasive Christian traditionalism”?

We feel the man’s searing anger when he writes, “[Chick-fil-A’s] headquarters, in Atlanta, is adorned with Bible verses and a statue of Jesus washing a disciple’s feet.”

But at last the reason for his lashing out becomes shockingly clear when he cries, “Its stores close on Sundays.”

The man has it, and he has it bad.

Now it all makes sense. Now we can see his frustration over the company’s stated purpose “to glorify God.” Now we understand the fixation on cows.

Cows?

Moo Cow

Piepenbring says “It’s impossible to overstate the role of the Cows.”

Chick-fil-A, if you didn’t know, has a series of amusing ads which portray cows saying “Eat Mor Chikin.” Cows are notorious spellers. One stunt had life-sized cows scaling a water tower on which was painted the slogan, one cow dangling from a rope held by another.

Cows are not chickens. It takes chickens to make Chick-fil-A sandwiches. Chicken sandwiches, therefore, are not hamburgers. Evidently the thought of hamburgers must set poor Piepenbring off.

He says cows are the chain’s “ultimate evangelists.” Evangelist, as in “a person who seeks to convert others to the Christian faith, especially by public preaching.” In this case, not the Christian faith, but the worship of the chicken nuggets combo deal.

Incensed with the company’s ads, he clicked here to read the rest.

April 1, 2018 | 5 Comments

Shocking Eyewitness Account Of An Actual Miracle

Here is what happened, according to an eyewitness and participant to the events described (he humbly called himself “the other disciple”). Evidence doesn’t get any better than this.

On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, “They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.”

So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.

They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in. When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place.

Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the scripture that he had to rise from the dead.

Then the disciples returned home.

But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid him.”

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.

Jesus said to her, “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” Mary of Magdala went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord,” and what he told her.

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”

Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?r Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of [his] disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may [come to] believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.

An hilarious April Fool’s joke was subsequently played by a certain someone who said these events did not occur. Strangely, he said they didn’t occur because eyewitnesses said they occurred. The joke quickly got out of hand, such that many forgot it was a joke. This is life.

March 3, 2018 | 26 Comments

Insanity & Doom Update XXIV

A very special update to our Insanity & Doom series, the time focusing on Google’s social justice warriors.

Google doesn’t like white people, especially white men. Not all whites: American whites. How curious. You can have some fun proving this to yourself, following the links below, or by typing in the search terms yourself.

When you do a Google search for classes of people, like artists or scientists, they sometimes list a row of headshots across the top of the main Google page, with clickable links. Sometimes you have to click the Images links if you want to see faces. Below I list the headshot if they have it, or give the link to the Images if not.

You might expect search result rankings to be in the order of prominence or importance or accomplishments, or perhaps even by time. Alas, no. Google seems to have another algorithm in mind. Before you get exercised and start throwing the silly “r-word” about, I say God bless every one of the people shown.

Try the following searches. Your results might vary a bit.

American inventors (a well known classic). Contrast it with Chinese inventors or, say, French inventors, or even Canadian inventors.

American scientists. Try the same contrasts here and below.

American doctors

American artists

American astronomers.

American mathematicians.

American architects. Oops!

American chemists. Another oops. Not shown, because the “oops” gives it away. Same with American philosophers.

White couples. Another classic, with the results showing a dearth of the term searched for. Contrast with Black couples or Asian couples or whatever else. Then jump to white couple with children.

Now people at Google say that when searching for, say, white couple it will also match images tagged with words like black and white couple. Might be possible. But if that’s so, why doesn’t black couple also match black and white couple? Seems the same images ought to show. Black and white couples produces a lots of images of couples in black and white (sans color, I mean).

Another well known one: European history people. I saw one explanation that trolls are going through marking the images you see as “European”. Maybe so. But they’d have to be awfully busy, because the results go on for pages. And it doesn’t work for, say, French history people nor for many other European countries. British history people is a partial hit, which might indicate the real interest in non-whites in Britain.

As far as Google shadow-banning and censoring sites aligned with Reality and Tradition, that’s already well known. E.g. “Google Preaches ‘Net Neutrality,’ Then Censors Conservative Videos?“, “Google’s New Fact-Check Feature Almost Exclusively Targets Conservative Sites“.
Heck, even socialists complain of Google’s censorship.

So prevalent are these stories that I am able to find them using Google’s own search engine!

What to do? Besides the obvious alternatives, just laugh at them. For unless the government steps in and makes Google official policy, these kinds of things self correct—because of the laughter.

February 14, 2018 | 15 Comments

Time To Fast: I’m Giving Up The Internet For Lent

Our friend Jay Richards, editor of The Stream, has an excellent on-going series on fasting. In Part II, he discusses how our Lord fasted for forty days.

By fasted Richards does not mean the “two small meals and one large one” that the practice has currently become, but not eating. Forty days is a long time to go without food, is it not?

Then, after the fast, “the tempter came and said to Him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.'” (Matthew 4:2) Satan’s taunt to make bread from stones only make sense if Jesus was feeling the hunger of his all-too-human body.

Notice that Satan appealed to Jesus’ hunger, but not to His thirst. We can assume that Jesus drank water because, without a miracle, no one could survive without water for forty days and nights. But, believe it or not, a healthy person can fast from food for forty days. He just needs enough energy stored as fat on his body. There are 3,500 calories in a pound of fat. So, thirty pounds of extra fat would be enough — not all that much for a well-fed man — as long as his body was able to access the fat stores. (That’s the kicker. I’ll explain how to make that happen without torture in later installments.)

Why fast? “Jesus’ example helps put shorter fasts in perspective. It also gives us one of the best reasons we should fast: to prepare for spiritual battle. If it’s good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for us.”

I’m not sure I have thirty pounds of extra fat to spare, but I do have a boatload of brain blubber that I would not miss. And there is no end to spiritual battle.

So, in the same manner that Jesus fasted from food for forty days, I shall be giving up the Internet from today until 2 April, the day after Easter (I shall still have “water”; wanton surfing and the like are out).

I have lots of posts scheduled to go, and new ones will make their way to the proper place. Of material, I have scads, more than enough to make it through a mere forty days. As for email, well, I’m already running about three years behind. A few extra weeks won’t matter.

As an aside, the oldest unanswered email is from Mike B. from 2015 on the putative hot hand in basketball. I’ve got an article on this coming up, Mike! (Yes, of course it’s real.)

I absolutely, 100% have to finish the Fallacies book I’ve been working on. I’m counting on that one to sell tens and tens of copies. An Internet fast, regular readers might recall, was how I finished Uncertainty. (No, I haven’t spoken to any publisher yet about Fallacies. This is a popular book, unlike Uncertainty. Title? Common Fallacies? The Fallacies We Love? I am terrible at titles.)

Some other folks have asked me to lead some papers on evidence and I need to concentrate on them, too.

Blog housekeeping. I’m ratcheting up the spam filters, which means some comments will be sent to a Soviet-style Waiting Area until they can be cleared. Those with profanity are automatically deleted.

As said, forty days is a long time without eating, but not so long giving up a lot of junk I’d be better off without anyway. Just as food is good for you but can be over-indulged in, so too the Internet. Fasting helps beyond the time of fasting.

Best thing I did along these lines was to trade in my old “smart” phone for a flip model (that I never carry) a few years back. I encourage you to do the same. Such freedom! I lived the first two-plus decades of my life without a phone or access to the Internet. I didn’t die.