Switzerland Has Contest For New National Anthem Which Removes God

Neutrality-ee-ooh!
Neutrality-ee-ooh!
Switzerland announced a contest for a new National Anthem. Because why? Because the old one has too many references to the Man Upstairs.

Yes: Project leader Lukas Niederberger (not enough protein in his diet?) told the BBC that his country’s current anthem was growing creaky: “The current text dates back to 1841 and includes references to God, prayer, mountains and sunshine.”

Niederberger said, “The real problem is above all the text. Officially the anthem is a psalm, a prayer, but of course we have an open society, religiously neutral. We have atheists, no single god, so this anthem is a difficulty.”

So much of a difficulty that Niederberger, like the Democrat National Committee, wants God purged and replaced by the “enshrined” values “democracy and solidarity” and “openness to the world.” Oh, and “living together in mutual consideration and respect for differences.”

Niederberger also welcomes a new “super song” in addition to new lyrics. Yet he’s aware that changing both the lyric and the tune would be “a bit difficult for conservative people,” so he added that “contestants don’t have to change the music.”

The competition starts in January and runs until June 2014. The top prize of $10,745 (and no cents) is to be awarded in 2015.

Here is my Official Entry, a sure winner (it’s even conveniently semi-translated into German). Since we are all progressives now, I set my version to the easily remembered America (My Country, ‘Tis of Thee), which coincidentally has the same melody as the outmoded Rufst du mein Vaterland (the anthem before the last). Do you have an entry?

No Judgments

1
Mein land’s Diversity,
Democracy und Sol’darity!
Of them we praise!
Land where die atheists,
Lives with retired priests;
Where die law insists
No child prays!

2
One land in harmony,
Not too religiony;
No single god.
Openness to die world,
All views together whirled;
Our hist’ry, out ist hurled.
We’re not that odd.

3
Respect all differences,
Which makes a certain sense:
Mutuality!
Let genders be as one;
Let no god spoil our fun;
Our soul ist nearly gone.
Neutrality!

Postscript. One has to be a resident of Switzerland in order to enter. Perhaps some reader could jointly enter with me come January? Split the prize with you 50-50. We can’t lose!


13 Comments

  1. I guess that “The International” is taken. Also, for complete gender neutrality shouldn’t that be das rather than die? For some entirely inappropriate reason I suggest this:

    ACHTUNG!
    ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!
    DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÃœR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN.
    IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
    ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.

  2. Wait, Switzerland is requiring you to be a citizen of its country to enter a contest for its national anthem!? What sort of close-minded, no foreigners-welcome, country is this? Switzerland, don’t you know that we’re all citizens of the world now, get with the program!

  3. Also, isn’t it strange that Niederberger objected to the references of “mountains and sunshine” in the old national anthem? That sounds like just the sort of thing that should go into a new national anthem! Or maybe sunshine is not good because it causes global warming, and singing about mountains would only remind us about how all of the glaciers are melting?

  4. The Marseillaise. It’s already in French and the only reference to God can be framed as simply an oath. Expresses the correct attitude to dodgy foreigners. In a country where you can be fined for flushing the toilet after 11 o’clock at night expect a certain tough-mindedness.

  5. Well, you could just do what the Spaniards do. They could never agree on the words to a national anthem so they just play the music without words. Humming along is optional.

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