800 gram balls: Key words in my log files

Every now and then I have a glance at my log files to see what kinds of key words people type into sites like Google and who are subsequently directed to my site. It won’t surprise you that I see things like briggs and bad statistics examples. But there is a class of keywords that I can only describe as odd, even, at times, worrying. Here are those keywords (all spellings are as they were found), split into rough categories. My comments, if any, appear in parentheses. Each of these keywords are real.

Statistics

  • don't forget about us model (I could never)
  • great statisticians (flatterer)
  • how to exaggerate (think big, think big)
  • i need to be statician (it can be a powerful force, it’s true; learning to spell it correctly will help)
  • some pictures of statistician (here’s somebody with a lot of time on their hands)
  • statisticians aviod doing things because other people are doing it (I think he has us confused with accountants)
  • statistician god exists (His name is Stochastikos)
  • virginity statistics (score: 0 to 0)
  • lifelong virginity statistics (score still tied)
  • what to look for in a statician (get one of the tall ones; we have a sense of humor)
  • why do statisticians love tables? (because we can’t help ourselves)
  • you cannot be a scientist if you are not a good mathematician (I have the feeling that this person desired a negative answer)

Zombies

  • factors that cause zombism (blogging…)
  • recorded zombie outbreaks
  • what year will zombies take over the earth? (has to be soon)
  • wild zombies (as opposed to domesticated?)
  • will zombie attacks happen
  • zombies can happen (he might have been trying to answer the other guy)
  • zombies in nature
  • zombies true or false

Miscellaneous

  • 800g balls (mine are only 760g–in petanque, of course!)
  • anything (I can see Google knows where to go…)
  • beer does not have enough alcohol (which is why I tend to stick with rum)
  • home is where the heart is william briggs (somebody’s trying to give me a lesson)
  • horizontal alcoholic (is there any other kind?)
  • how does pseudoscience effect the mind (badly)
  • lee majors george bush (you can’t go wrong aligning yourself with the six-million dollar man)
  • man's got his limits briggs (true enough; must be same advice giver as before)
  • purposely causing someone to get cancer (oh my…no murder tips here)
  • sentence with the word, "impossibility" (shouldn’t be hard to come by)
  • what can we do not to be poor (get a job)

5 Comments

  1. My favourite during my early days of blogging (October 2002) was “sexy arab hidden camera”. No comment necessary. “Pompous Grass” was a bit obvious.

  2. How do i look at the logs which you’re referring to, on my server?

  3. Briggs

    Gdnctr,

    There’s many, many ways. If you’re using a hosting service, ask them to help you. If you’re doing it yourself—well, you probably would already know.

    Good luck,

    Briggs

  4. When I began blogging about knitting, I was surprised to find that my blog attracted visitors searching for “black strippers”. Google sent the searches to a post about knitting a swatch.

    The link? A passap knitting machine uses a gizmo to exert tension on the yarn and help ‘strip’ the stitches off the needle hooks. The colors: Black, orange and blue!

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