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Happy Anniversary: Clip Show

It’s been one year to the day when I decided to offer a daily column. Below are the ones that did not turn out too badly.

Funny Fun

Wolf Blitzer interviews Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill

MacAskill Take al-Megrahi, who was clearly suffering. Prostate cancer! The evils of which are all too common. Progressive jurists like myself know—it is a basic human understanding, actually—that prison is not a place of suffering, and suffer al-Megrahi would have done had we forced—coerced might be a better word—him to remain in prison.

Blitzer But what do you say to the families of the victims of al-Megrahi’s man-caused disaster?

The Life of Noble Savages (New and Improved title!)

Women ruled over this peaceful, complaisant Earth. Not actually “ruled”, you understand, because ruling implies hierarchy and hegemony, and these are bad: instead, these women guided, by entirely intuitive ways of knowing (evidence was unwelcome); guides which were, we can only guess, accomplished by issuing a vast streams of non-confrontational edicts and reminders, which were not to be confused with nagging.

The Mathematics of Boneless Pork Rectums

That makes about 25,000 rectums per container. Using the universal principle “one pig, one rectum”, this makes it 25,000 pigs slaughtered per container. Of course, packaging adds bulk, so that the actual number of rectums that can be transported per container must be less. A figure of 20% to 30% increase per rectum seems reasonable. That is, each dry rectum, considering the plastic, dry ice, cardboard, etc., is like 1.2 to 1.3 packaged rectum.

Socialist Math Textbook Exercises

Grand socialist (of both the national and international varieties) schemes were directly responsible for the deaths of at least 150 million, over roughly a 100-year period. If the average height (including babies and the tall) is 66 inches, and you stacked those bodies end-to-end, you could reach about 156,250 miles. Now, the moon is about 240,000 miles away. Assuming the same kill rate, how many more years of grand socialist rule would we need to (A) reach the moon, and (B) return safely to Earth?

Put Down That Salt!

The Sergeant’s hand moved to his hip, but he didn’t draw his weapon. His perp was a foreigner and he wasn’t sure any violence would look good on his record. He said, “Everybody knows that salt leads to high blood pressure.”

Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg, Part I, Part II, Part III

In 1793, influenced by the writings of weeping pussy-willow philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, and a year after they joyfully stuffed their king in a hole, French intellectuals created the Committee for Public Safety, in which it was decided that the safest thing to do was to lop off as many heads as possible.

Funny Climatology

Use of Deadly Force Authorized Against Renegade Sea Lions

Last year, 11 sea lions were shot and killed when they refused to stop eating salmon. So far this year, there has only been one deadly confrontation, when the sea lion “Whiskers Malone” was shot multiple times after showing his hind flipper to police.

I’m Sick of All These Climate Skeptic Deniers

And every time we look, it’s better than we thought! Yet the simple facts we preach won’t sink into the skulls of deniers. Our words just bounce off their ears and fall to ground where they are gleefully trampled.

Guest Post by Paul “Population Bomb” Ehrlich: Fight the Climate Skeptic Conspiracy!

If you concentrate on those missed predictions to dismiss me, you will be making a terrific mistake. Because it’s not the predictions that count, it’s how important the theory behind them is! And no theory is more important than man-made—and woman-made—adverse climate change.

Live from Copenhagen, The Benny Hill Show!

It is chaos. Benny and Bald Guy attempt to negotiate a twisted path through the throng, but are stopped short by a group of people dressed as chickens. The people-poultry are arguing with a rival gang of activists on stilts, who want the disputed ground to put on an anti-global warming puppet show.

Global Warming Political Enemies List

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Nearly 500 Enemies of Science are marked with scarlet letters, and I only made number number 264. But before you start snickering, let me ask you this: is your name on the list? Well, is it, Mr Smarty Pants?

Berkeley Day of Action Planning Meeting (Student Riots)

“Capitalism is in its death throes! All these evils corporations—and all corporations are evil—all they can do is to take. This time we took from them!…That reminds me. I have pictures on my iPod of when Kevin organized the pizza throwing at the police. Marza has set up a Facebook page where everybody’s pictures are uploaded….”

For the technical posts, see my Statistics links page, or use the navigation guide or search box on the left.

4 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary: Clip Show Leave a comment

  1. May this anniversary reflect all the special thoughts you have shared, and all the wonderful thoughts to come!

    I copy this off an anniversary card. ^_^

    Your discipline of writing everyday is admirable. Keep up the good work.

  2. In the spirit of the occasion, and somewhat following JH’sbrilliant example, I proffer the following two fitting quotations for your enjoyment and edification:

    “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”

    Mark Twain; and

    “Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t.”

    Pete Seeger

    Congratulations on reaching this sterling milestone. My admiration knows no bounds. But that’s enough gushy stuff.

  3. Only been a year? Seems like an eternity! Lucky you started on a Friday 13th!

    Of all of them, I would rate Noble savages (Mind Plagues) Number One. In fact, as I write this I am enjoying a celebration of American Native cedar flute music performed by persons neither Native American nor, apparently, flautists. May they experience the Native American practice of incremental body mass reduction first hand to understand the true meaning of celebration. Or anything else that may get them to stop.

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