William M. Briggs

Statistician to the Stars!

Hire me!

Just a friendly reminder that this site is in part mercenary and that I am for hire. See my Hire me! page for full details of all the wonderful things I can do.

For Christmas, I am running a special on numerological predictions, which are guaranteed to be 100% forecasts! I accept most forms of currency.

16 Comments

  1. Moonlighting, eh? Good for you. Do you by any chance rubber stamp egregiously bad pseudo-science? Because if so, I can get you gigs.

    Otherwise, if you do the real thing and really help people to set their messes straight, the demand is low. The truth hurts. But once in a great while, it also sets would-be researchers free.

  2. Briggs

    December 11, 2008 at 7:17 am

    Mike,

    Oh, sure. But I don’t come cheap.

  3. Is beer an acceptable form of currency? I realize that its fungibility is less than that of, say, USD, but it is way more delicious.

    Because I will supply you with a lot of beer if you can teach the media how to not be completely impervious to thinking about the many absurd predictions they report on.

    IPAs, stouts, hefs, you name it and I’ll get the best.

  4. Well said Ari, but mistletoe might be better.

  5. Briggs

    December 11, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Ari,

    It is indeed. But in massive quantities only. However, I can promise you that if I see you with mistletoe in hand, I will run very quickly in the other direction.

  6. Matt,

    Don’t worry, you’re not my type anyway. I have a thing for women.

  7. Ah, Ari, never mind!
    I’d have kissed you if you brought mistletoe. (only once though)

  8. Joy,

    I accept kisses regardless of strange Gentile rituals :-). All this Christmas talk reminds me that I need to find my menorah soon…

    By the way, just to show that “green” crosses all cultural and religious boundaries, some Israelis are now calling for “green Chanukkah.” And my Israeli friends think I’m a bit too liberal because I don’t celebrate Purim?

    Sheesh.

    (No really, it’s true: http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1195546797524&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull)

    “The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere. ”

    SIGH.

  9. Ari,

    Ridiculous, I hope you buy extra big candles, giant ones.
    That’ll teach them.

  10. Ari– Mistletoe isn’t Christian. It’s pagan. Lots of traditions associated with the Christmas season were originally pagan, and only seem Christian because they got sucked into traditions.

  11. lucia,

    Even more of a reason for me to not understand.

    BTW, one of the nice things about “Gentile” (or the slightly less approving “Goyim”) is that it applies to all of the non-Hebrews. Very convenient. There’s also the phrase, “Ha-Olam Ha-Lo Yehudi” (“The non-Jewish world”), but it’s long and clunky.

  12. Ari–
    Good point on the Gentile thing. 🙂

    Mistletoe is for New Years not Christmas. That said, New Years day is a holy day of obligation. It used to be called “The Feast of the Circumcision”, but it got renamed. 🙂

  13. Help young chicas (nurses, therapists, ed majors) working on tenous master’s degrees and needing someone to crunch some of their numbers for their theses. Charge in cash and services.

  14. Briggs

    December 14, 2008 at 6:47 am

    TCOisnotbanned,

    If you know where I can find them, clue me in.

  15. uni masters programs for nurses and the like. Contact the departments and also out up some fliers. i was dating a speech therapist. Thye had someone do all their data analysis.

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