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Random global warming nuttiness

Many people have been sending me various tidbits about rampant global warming insanity, but it’s taking me a long time to get round to posting them. This darn book of mine….it never wants to be done!

So here are just some quick links for you to mull on.

The Who’s-Nuttier-Than-A-Psychologist? Department

Walking outside rather than inside—even for just 15 minutes—makes you feel happier, more energetic and more protective of the environment. So says psychologists at a recent APA meeting. How do you design a “study” to test environmental protectiveness intensity? With an instrument of course. “Instruments” are the learned name for “questionnaires.”

It’s not that I dispute the “finding” that walking outside is good for you. It’s just that it’s yet another in an endless line of unnecessary useless “studies” done either for the sole purpose of generating papers, or because the “researchers” just aren’t that bright. See the link for more studies of similar intensity and validity.

Hot Blooded

You just cannot stop “researchers.” Some of them are claiming that hot weather—that caused by evil global warming—will lead to more blood contamination. Their logic? Blood spoils in the heat (for various reasons), global warming will warm the globe, therefore more blood will spoil.

A Nobel is on the way to Prof Dunstan, a specialist in emerging infectious diseases at Curtin University in Perth, for thinking up this one. Google the New Zealand Journal of Public Health to read more of his exploits. I haven’t the heart.

No, It’s the Fit People!

In a study that flatly contradicts the findings of Dr Harrister, PhD, “researchers” at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine in a letter to the medical journal Lancet. Apparently, these prescient folks figured that fat people eat more food than skinny ones, and that food costs money to transport, and that transportation releases more green house gases, which…well, you know the rest.

But our scientific study clearly showed the opposite. Extremely fit people release more CO2 into the air than do lazy slobs.

Nobody ever asked us for an interview.

Please Release Me

“Researcher” James Walsh says Divorce — yes, the dissolution of marriage — is what causes global warming.

This one is so incredibly stupid that I cannot think of something silly to say about it.

Dr X Invokes The Lord

Dr X, whom we met before advocating lawlessness to combat global warming, said that if we do not “act” now we will “destroy the creation.” That’s awfully close to religious language—he was in Kansas when he uttered those words—and one thing lefties cannot abide is any hint of Christian religion. New Age yes, Muslim yes, vague yoga-nistics sure, Mother Earth and soaring hawks as spiritual messengers absolutely, but Christianity? Not a chance.

Thin ice here, Dr X. Best stick to anti-USA type rhetoric. This God stuff can bite you in the ass.

Flesh Eating Bipeds

“Researchers” at the Food Climate Research Network, based at the University of Surrey want to limit your meat intake to four portions a week. This, they say, will surely cool the planet.

Eating less meat will also make you cooler. Nothing hipper than a vegetarian.

Do not laugh, you absurd ill-informed fools! Did you not know that cows are “four-legged weapons of mass destruction”?

That you did not shows that you lack the kind of enlightened education provided to ivory-towered researchers the world over.

12 thoughts on “Random global warming nuttiness Leave a comment

  1. Global warming nuttiness is just one niche in the research nuttiness category. What do they all have in common? The use (abuse) of statistics, as a cookbook, without understanding statistics. They are to statisticians what hackers are to computer scientists.

  2. The “Divorces cause Global Warming” advocate is confusing correlation with causation. What is clear to me is that anyone married to an avid Global Warmer would have the choice of committing murder or getting a divorce. Thus, Global Warming leads to divorce (no jail time for that, although ‘justifiable homicide’ might be a defence in the alternative.)

  3. Surely cows are simply concentrated grass anyway? So nothing wrong with eating a steak as it is really just vegetables!

  4. It’s nice to know that, despite appearances, as a vegetarian of many years standing I am not only hip, but I am doing my part for global warming. Unfortunately, I have been moderately fit most of that time, so I’m not sure how that balances out. Thankfully I was a couch potato for most of the summer, so for the good of the planet I will try to continue doing my part by not doing much of anything.

    Here in California global warming insanity is written into our law, and Atty General Jerry Brown is the chief climate cop. With a mandate to lower CO2, Jerry Brown seems determined to oversee all aspects of live here.

  5. That’s awfully close to religious language—he was in Kansas when he uttered those words—and one thing lefties cannot abide is any hint of Christian religion. New Age yes, Muslim yes, vague yoga-nistics sure, Mother Earth and soaring hawks as spiritual messengers absolutely, but Christianity? Not a chance.

    Thin ice here, Dr X. Best stick to anti-USA type rhetoric. This God stuff can bite you in the ass.

    Ahahaha! You made me laugh so hard there, mr. Briggs! So true!

  6. Harry,

    Well, it’s not a perfect sampling plan (from what I’ve been able to glean from the news report). There are better ones. But who knows what the actual goals of this census are. What they get might be good enough if all they need is a rough guess of percentages.

    They’d maybe do better asking for cooperation from insurance companies.

  7. Four portions a week of Meat and milk, sweet and alcohol rations but wait, Chocolate?
    That’s over the top! Now they’re getting personal.

  8. Hi –

    The best thing about the article on Divorce As The Cause Of Global Warming is that the author has a website about…

    getting a quickie divorce.

    Sort of reminds me of the kids who kill their parents and ask for mercy because they are orphans, or the Democrats in the House blaming the Republicans for Fannie Mae (when Barney Frank blocked the exact reforms that would have prevented the meltdown).

  9. “All propaganda must be so popular and on such an intellectual level, that even the MOST STUPID of those toward whom it is directed will understand it. Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way around, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise.”
    Hitler, “Mein Kampf”.

    The stories seem so stupid because the target audience is ignorant. Most people don’t remember, 30 years ago we were all going to die from global cooling.

  10. Lovely. None of this, though, is any more nutty than the insistence by the AGW theologists (err, sorry, I meant “scientists”) that the dropping temperatures are simply further proof it’s getting warmer, and that CO2 is causing it all.

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