“Ahhhliooga ooga oogum!” said the reporter.
“Arrrrrgapssft! Framowitz!” agreed his colleague.
“Bwipbwipbwip. Bwip!” added the editor.
“Hoolalahoolalahoo!” insisted the activist.
“Will somebody please change my diaper?” asked the student.
There hasn’t been a traditional source yet reacting to Trump keeping one of his promises that didn’t sound like that mother on the phone in A Christmas Story who has just learned her son said a dirty word. Raging unreasoning incoherence isn’t in it.
Never have Mencken’s words about hobgoblins been more applicable (“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”) Except here, it is our elites doing it to themselves. We’re thisclose to having a genuine moral panic on our hands.
There is angst. There is fear. There is anxiety. There is actual running around in circles. The media dared glimpse Trump, the Inverted Gorgon, and then they became (it’s Pop Culture Reference Day today at WMBriggs.com) like those 1940s German officials at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
What a lovely thing to see.
Remember when these kind and thoughtful people called (over and again) the Koch brothers German officials? Well, now Chuck Koch has called Trump a German official. Wait until they hear!
All fixed reference points the elite have relied on for many years have been removed. They are at sea, aghast appalled alarmed. All their worst fears have not been realized, but they are sure they will be at any moment, and so do now want to be caught unprepared, thus they have already assumed crash positions. Maybe they should have listened to Bill Clinton (and Al Gore) on immigration.
Perhaps a vote for Most Absurd Moment is in order. In a top slot is Chucky Schumer manfully bringing out the onion and calling Trump a big meanie. Tied must be the Times scribbler who giggled and goggled and called for Trump’s assassination.
Or how about that female person who was certain sure Trump Photoshopped a picture of his own hands so that they appeared bigger?
Then there’s the American Association of Geographers—Geographers, I say—who have released an official statement “on the recent Trump Executive Order limiting travel to the US from several countries.” Note that is “Trump Executive Order” and not Mister or President Trump. This was their “attempt roll back the restrictions of this Executive Order.” Sure, the opposition party and Democrats are against Trump, but just wait until our President hears the geographers are coming after him!
Maybe those reporters who are screeching about “threats” to the First Amendment because Steve Bannon politely reminded them they haven’t got a thing right about Trump yet and so in humility they had best shut up and listen for awhile.
Incidentally, by “First Amendment” they don’t mean freedom of association, which suggests Diversity quotas and mandatory cake baking should be fundamentally illegal, nor do they mean freedom of religion, because that implies there exists an authority higher than journalists. What they don’t want to lose is the “right” to lie, insinuate, and calumniate with impunity—in order to make the world a better place, of course.
James Cameron says the world is doomed. Well, the man responsible for Avatar ought to know about moral disasters.
Californians are always in the running. Many want to secede. Let ’em, I say. Let them have everything, including the military bases! But make it a condition of their departure that they give those citizens who want to six months to escape, before Jerry Brown builds a wall between us and them.
Then the master stroke. After the grace period, we declare war on them. Invade and destroy! Carpet bomb Hollywood. Drop leaflets on celebrity homes reminding them of the Amalekites. After their unconditional surrender, we arrest the war criminals of Berkeley and forbid any who used to work for the government or education (perhaps half the state) from future public employment for life. Seize the assets of tech companies and sell them off to fill the treasury coffers. Assimilate the rest back into the union, but cut their Electoral College votes in half for 100 years.
Those are only some. Have you noticed any other good ones?