William M. Briggs

Statistician to the Stars!

People’s Climate March Prep: Your Help Requested

The People's Climate March: you will believe.

The People’s Climate March: you will believe.

It’s party time

Your intrepid reporter, with full bona fides as a people, will be at tomorrow’s People’s Climate March in Manhattan, and you can help. More about how in a moment.

First, if you can go, you should. After all, you’ve been asked to by climatological eminences: “Nine leading climate scientists urge you to attend the People’s Climate March.

Michael “I make a nice living with this stuff” Oppenheimer will be there, MIT’s Kerry Emanuel can’t make it but is “delighted it is happening.” Michael Mann, who did to climate science with his hockey stick what Bob Probert did to his opposition, isn’t coming, and admitted-willing-to-lie-for-the-cause liar Peter Gleick won’t be there because he “made an explicit decision not to fly to New York because of the carbon cost.”

But celebrities will be there, and, admit it, that’s what really counts, right?

The festivities have already begun. Last night, to pick an example which to you is at random, you missed “A Queer Response to Climate Change” at the NYC Metropolitan Community Church (W 36th), which asked “How on earth is Global Climate Change a Queer Issue?” Hard to answer:

Nancy Wilson, moderator of the Metropolitan Community Church with 40 years’ experience faithfully and thoughtfully addressing social justice concerns, along with Peterson Toscano, a queer comic performance artist and off-beat Bible scholar, team up to offer a presentation that is guaranteed to expand your thinking, give you hope, and provide direction for you and your community in the face of big changes on our little planet. Discover what your role might be on our new earth and learn how LGBTQ folks and faith communities already have experiences and resources to draw on in the midst of our current and growing climate crisis. It’s time for the ultimate makeover!

Of course, if you weren’t last night veering queer, you were probably angling occult at the “Pagan Mixer in Honor of the People’s Climate March” at the Lovecraft Bar (East Village), which shouted “WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, WITCHES!”

There’s plenty to do today, too. You could head to the “Decolonize Climate Justice” event at the Free University (East Village) which insists

Those most affected by the first symptoms of climate change­­ such as extreme weather and environmental disasters brought on by capitalist exploitation ­­are indigenous people worldwide, marginalized majorities of the Global South and poor people of color in the Global North. These connections are not coincidental…

Tonight there’s the “Apocalypse How? Climate Change, the Political-Economy of Energy, and Reigniting the Radical Imagination” at the Graffiti Night Church (East Village), which boasts, among others,

Eddie Yuen is coauthor of Catastrophism: The Apocalyptic Politics of Collapse and Rebirth (PM Press), teaches in the Interdisciplinary Studies Department at the San Francisco Art Institute. He is the co-editor, with George Katsiaficas and Daniel Burton-Rose, of Confronting Capitalism: Dispatches from a Global Movement.

Socialists will enjoy the “Climate Satyagraha: Revolution on the Ecosocialist Horizon” at the Alwan Center for the Arts (Downtown), which says

Climate change is part and parcel of a global ecological crisis whose driving force is the cancerous capitalist system. Accordingly, though all change must be grounded in local struggle, it must also be integrated with a planetary revolutionary uprising that incorporates the struggles of traditional socialism and its Marxist articulation into the vision of a post-capitalist mode of production centered on the production of integral ecosystems.

And, yes, there are several puppet shows and puppet building events. Where would a demonstration be without giant puppets? See the main events page. For example, tomorrow morning fortify yourself for the day’s activities at the “Queer Planet pancake breakfast pre-march meet-up” at the Abrons Art Center (ass end of China Town) where you can help put the final touches on the “giant puppet drag queens related to the four elements (air, fire, water, earth) plus related drag looks & snappy signage!”

What you can do

But how can you help if you can’t make it to the city?

As said, Your intrepid reporter will be there, voice recorder in hand (unfortunately, no camera), and he will be asking people questions. But what questions?

It will by now be obvious that few to none of the marchers have the least idea how the atmosphere works, and it’s a good bet that a substantial minority of them don’t even know there’s an atmosphere. Further, every thinking person knows these facts. So is there any point asking marchers science questions?

If you were there, what would you ask? Or what other suggestions do you have? Are any of you coming?

Your reporter will be at the north end of Columbus Circle wandering around Central Park West sometime after 10 am (the parade begins at 11:30 am), and will likely join at least part of the march. Look for the fellow in the white linen suit and white hat.

22 Comments

  1. …and as long as you’re there, be sure to ask them questions about the coming Rapture as well, in line with your science quest.

  2. I think asking them any questions would be as pointless as the march but you might ask why they think the march isn’t itself also contributing to to the cause they are marching against (or is it for)? After all, most likely traveled there and not on foot and they are consuming — thus increasing the consumption of — the very resources that are claimed to be causing climate change.

  3. Ye Olde Statisician

    September 20, 2014 at 8:20 am

    Just when you think parody has still life in it, along comes something that reduces parody to helpless wheezing.

  4. Simple questions, like “Why are you here?” (chances are they have no idea) and “What do you do for a living?” (most likely they are paid to participate at events like this) or “From where does your group obtain its funding?” (you will never get a straight answer).

  5. You could ask “giant puppet drag queens related to the four elements (air, fire, water, earth) plus related drag looks & snappy signage!” if they also believe the world is flat. If you can sprint quickly, try asking them if they’re referring to the group “Earth, Wind and Fire” and just got a couple of elements confused.

    I suppose the best thing is most of these people are just there for the party and won’t care at all about any of this in a week. Narcissistic people tend to only pay attention when it benefits them. Now, when the lights start going out, they’re going to whine and moan, but hey, that’s the way it goes. Stupid has consequences, even if some take a while to kick in.

    PS: I would suggest leaving the “I love the Koch Brothers” button at home! 🙂

  6. Have a great time at the March. I couldn’t go because I didn’t want to increase my carbon footprint!

    You might be interested in learning the primary sponsors of the March believe that global warming caused the shooting and horrible events in Ferguson last month: http://meteorologicalmusings.blogspot.com/2014/09/global-warming-caused-ferguson-is-there.html

  7. Ask – “Do you recycle your banner with a new message at a protest every weekend?”

  8. Willis Eschenbach

    September 20, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Dang, Briggsie, I do wish I could put on my suit and tie and join you in this historic march for climate justice … well, I could do without the climate justice part, but it’d be great to see you.

    Thanks for your posts, I read them all. Well done, that man!

    w.

  9. Well, all your satiric comments are well and good, but when Manhattan and San Francisco are submerged by melting ice and everybody has to go naked because of the heat, you’ll all be sorry (or will you?).

  10. Ye Olde Statisician

    September 20, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    when Manhattan and San Francisco are submerged by melting ice and everybody has to go naked because of the heat, you’ll all be sorry (or will you?).

    The thought of swarms of naked San Franciscans fleeing inland freezes the mind.

  11. Bob,

    My house is good up to 20 meters, which is also the level anticipated if all the ice on Greenland went bye bye: http://flood.firetree.net/?ll=37.8649,-122.2858&zoom=15&m=20

    The highest that map goes is 60 meters, which is the level anticipated if all of Antarctica melted: http://flood.firetree.net/?ll=37.8649,-122.2858&zoom=15&m=60

    60 meters is also the point where Berkeley campus becomes beachfront property. I can just see the Cal kids holding an annual “We Told You So Tofu BBQ”. Using hydrogen-fired grills, of course.

    YOS,

    Already happens every year in May during the 12 km Bay to Breakers Race. Google image search will return plenty of mind-freezing photos. At 60 meters sea level rise, the City would become a small archipelago, so the event would have to be the Bay to Breakers to Bay Race to maintain the same distance: http://flood.firetree.net/?ll=37.7378,-122.4432&zoom=12&m=60

    (The link is a map, not nude hippies, I promise.)

  12. I would ask them for ten dollars to save Peppino the abbruzzese bear from all the recent humidity in the Appenines.

  13. At 3mm/year, none of us will be here to see the naked San Franciscans anyway. By the time the ice melts, if it ever does, we’ll be hundreds of years in the future. Who knows what we’ll be wearing then? Maybe nothing.

  14. Sheri, I am disappointed…although I guess I could go to San Francisco now, if I had the urge to see naked bodies. Only 3 mm/year? Is that an increase or decrease in see level? I did see a headline that antarctic ice was increasing.

  15. whoops… for “see” read “sea”…. Now there is a Freudian slip!!!

  16. “Do you support Ambidextrous Hydrangeas for Climate Justice?” No? How about, “When was the last time you showered, you stinkin’ hippie?”

  17. Mike M,

    I think the support will only be for left handed Hydrangea. Diversity in no way encompasses the right even when it’s supposedly all about rights.

  18. Semi Literate Emgineer

    September 20, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Please ask one of the denizens this pressing and relevant question, “What is the color of nine?” For the identifiable more intelligent lot, “What is the square root of carbon?”

  19. Bob: It’s reportedly an increase. Sea ice (what is increasing in Antarctica) doesn’t really affect sea level much, only land ice does. If the land ice in Antarctica is increasing, then it melts, it may only take a couple of centuries to raise the ocean enough to have “climate refugees”. Probably should now!

  20. Will Our Intrepid Reporter be wearing a suit, tie & fashonable hat to the People’s Climate Party, er March? (Sorry, but the abbreviation PCP just seemed too appropriate to pass up).

  21. I was invited by a nutty physics professor at my university who, I gather from the email he sent, still thinks it’s the 1960s. My guess is it will be mostly shallow college kiddies from northeast schools out for a weekend adventure who are long on commitment but short on understanding. Sadly, I have another engagement so I won’t be joining you.
    This seems like a fine opportunity to do some research. Quick, draw up a survey and collect some data. See what wee p-values you can find.

  22. Ask the prettiest girl out on a carbon date, take her nowhere and consume nothing. Relearn how to breathe with her, this time without inhaling or exhaling.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*

© 2016 William M. Briggs

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑