Rumor has it that Nancy Pelosi slipped in an addendum to the massive House health bill that calls for government-paid access to cosmetic surgery for female congress members with low self esteem. Can anybody verify that?
Not a rumor are the inclusions for “complementary” (never complimentary) medicine, such as bee pollen enemas, chiropractic subluxation adjustments, “all natural” homeopathic jars of memory water, and so on. I’m thinking of setting up as a quack to cash in on this.
Quick: what do you call a slowly moving, undead, nearly impossible to kill ever growing menace that feeds off the living? If you said zombie, you’re wrong.
The correct answer is government bureaucracy! Full points for entitlement, too.
I shouldn’t complain. At least the new program relieves me of the anxiety and worry about how I should spend the money I make. Now, Uncle O can do it for me.
Businesses are also benefit from this newly discovered right. Those who don’t want to buy insurance for their employees will be forced to fork over an 8% payroll tax. Let’s calculate: if the business didn’t want to pay insurance in the first place, but are forced by gunpoint to do so, yet they still want to minimize costs, do you think it is remotely possible that they will reduce their payrolls (by firing people or reducing salaries), thus reducing the new payroll tax?
If you answered no, you’re just the kind of person that would be interested in an investment opportunity I have. Email me with your name, credit card number, and expiration date for full details: firstname.lastname@example.org.
And now that the government is our matron, she will soon demand the right to control our habits because, of course, some habits can lead to ill health. (They naturally get to define what “ill health” is, because you are not qualified to say what makes you satisfied.)
See, inter alia, the book The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Diet by former FDA Worrier in Chief David A. Kessler, who has discovered—you’d better sit for this—that we like to eat certain foods because they taste good! Further, some businesses know this and use it to extract money from people by selling them these foods. How dare they!
Remember our country’s new slogan: If in doubt, regulate.