Wave Of Apoplexy About To Be Unleashed

Not intended for all audiences.
Not intended for all audiences.
Dear reader, it is your duty to memorize these signs of stroke. Use the helpful FAST mnemonic. F = Face: ask the victim to smile; does one side of her face droop? A = Arms: ask the victim to raise both arms; does one drift downward? S = Speech: ask the victim to name the pioneers of feminist philosophy; does she babble? T = Time: if you notice any of these signs, call 911 immediately.

I’ll soon be asking for volunteers to stand by at the gates of universities and by the doors of newsrooms all across America. When? As soon as Costanza Miriano’s Cásate y Sé Sumisa is translated into English.

Before I tell you more, bear in mind the old sayings about the folly of shooting the messenger.

The title means—and I hope you’re sitting down—Get Married and Be Submissive. You thought there was a “flap” over Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson quoting the Bible on the sinfulness of homosexual behavior? Wait for the tsunami-hurricane-earthquake-blizzard-fire-from-heaven storm that will be unleashed once American professional women are told “we are not equal to men and to not recognise this is a guaranteed source of suffering.”

I expect New York and LA to resemble Tokyo after a stroll through by Godzilla after our liberated (can we still call them?) ladies hear “you must submit to [your husband]. When you have to choose between what he likes and what you like, choose in his favour…when your husband tells you something, you should listen as if it were God speaking.”

Maureen Dowd will shoot fire through her nostrils and threaten to update Are Men Necessary? (At least we’ll learn whether Pajama Boy’s sleepwear is fire retardant.) The set of The View will look like a remake of Scanners. The inhabits of women’s “studies” departments that don’t stroke out will sharpen their pencils and furiously write internal grants and triple dog dare their colleagues not to take them seriously.

Reporteresses will storm across the country in the search any politician who can be found saying anything which isn’t derogatory of la Signora Miriano. If a Republican can be found (Democrats will be forgiven) to utter something as tepid as “I don’t agree with Miriano, but I support her right to free speech,” he will be vilified as engaging in a war on women. The attack against him will be so relentless that even after a groveling apology, a large donation to NOW, and his announcement that he’s voluntarily signed up for sensitivity training won’t be enough to save him.

Waves of feminist activists, after being exposed to the “hurtful” words “A husband can’t resist a woman who respects him, who acknowledges his authority, who devotes herself loyally to listening to him, to remaining at his side,” will mass in the streets and organize book burnings and make pacts to never marry.

For weeks you won’t be able to turn on the television and not be treated to a commentator screeching at some man in the manner of Mrs Schwartz answering the phone in A Christmas Story. We will be assured by PhD-wielding talking heads that the words (my translation; original halfway down) “It’s true, you’re still not an experienced cook or a perfect housekeeper. What is wrong if I admit this?” are equivalent to committing “violence” on women.

Planned Parenthood apparatchiks, spitting mad, will pen op-eds that a woman’s “right” to choose to kill is in imminent jeopardy, that clocks (and not calendars) are being turned back to 1950

I’m telling you. The return of the Lord Himself won’t make as much noise. This will be big. Get ready to fire up the popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

12 Comments

  1. “F = Face: ask the victim to smile; does one side of her face droop”

    Make sure you check the eyebrows. A stroke will effect the eyebrows, but a non-stroke related facial palsy usually will not.

    I found this out the hard way.

  2. That book probably won’t cause much of a stir anywhere [at least provided no major group or institution endorses it as happened with the Cath. Church in Spain] and will be recognized for what it probably is — a particular outlook & value system–submission/BDSM–controversial but for reasons quite different from those raised by Briggs.

    Consider some quotes from the reviewer (link in the essay above):

    “Miriano starts by telling us that “we are not equal to men and to not recognise this is a guaranteed source of suffering”. Instead, “you must submit to him. When you have to choose between what he likes and what you like, choose in his favour.” Worse still, “when your husband tells you something, you should listen as if it were God speaking”.

    ““A husband can’t resist a woman who respects him, who acknowledges his authority, who devotes herself loyally to listening to him, to remaining at his side.””

    THEN, compare those remarks & attitudes with readily found references to Self-Defeating Personality Disorder (e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-defeating_personality_disorder) and masochism. Not much different, none really, just a matter of degree on a particular continuum which is readily found whether you’ve looked for it or not…

    …entry-level BDSM: http://voices.yahoo.com/different-types-submission-bdsm-submissive-slave-1041071.html.

    Some who study such things might ponder the possibility that the author’s real intent isn’t about submission to the male spouse at all as she is quoted as saying:

    “Seeing your sweetness and your humility, your effort to become what he wants, he will also change himself.”

    While one cannot reach any conclusions on 2nd-hand quotes, that is still consistent with http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/933316-topping-from-the-bottom .

    After that other best-seller having already reached kids of all ages all over, Miriano’s book will, undoubtedly, be interpreted as the G-rated version of 50 Shades of Grey.

    Can’t miss the opportunity — such submission, such as it is/may be, is really just a variation of how those of the liberal mindset desire to put government in the role of their parent & caretaker (another form of BDSM)…for why see the book at: http://www.libertymind.com.

  3. Ken,

    You might be right. But they’re already organizing book “tearings” in Spain. Evidently the economy is so bad there that they can’t afford matches and must rip up the book by hand.

  4. Do I have the courage to share this with my wife? Nope! Is she a member of NOW or a card carrying feminist? Not that I know of, but I learned the best way to avoid snake bite is not to taunt the snake.

  5. Like I tell my wife, “Hey, what can I do?…It’s a biblical thing”. Then I quote from a poem by Douglas Malloch called “Be the Best of Whatever You Are”:

    “We can’t all be captains, some have to be crew,
    There’s something for all of us here,
    There’s big work to do, and there’s lesser to do,
    And the task you must do is the near.”

    Then she locks me out of the house and I have to sleep in the garage.

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