Comments on: Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

By: REAL global warming fears « Happycrow’s Eyeball Factory

REAL global warming fears « Happycrow’s Eyeball Factory — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:43:25 +0000

[…] REAL global warming fears have nothing to do with methane bubbling out of that Mexico-with-nukes we call Russian permafrost… but rather, William Briggs, suggests, a more horrifying problem would be a 32.78% increase in zombie attacks. […]

By: William M. Briggs, Statistician » Stop making babies to reduce global warming

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:54:57 +0000

[…] The other day, as a favor, I posted a scientific article from a friend of mine, Dr H. Harrister, PhD, who conclusively showed that fitter people have larger carbon footprints than do fatter people. You might remember Dr Harrister from his famous paper showing that zombie attacks will increase due to global warming. […]

By: joe

joe — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:09:28 +0000

I belive if we dont equip the public with gernades and battle rifles like the ones in halo they might be able to respawn very quickly which may lead to humans scoring 100 or more points per death match which would lead to extensive thumb oprerations which would de evolves back into monkeys something must be done to stop the madness of gory brain eaters

By: Scott

Scott — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:06:52 +0000

I beg to differ. As 1958 science has shown us, the most dire human-eating threat to the world from global warming is giant space amoebas.

http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2008/03/26/sci-fi-reason-13056-we-must-stop-global-warming/

By: Sci-Fi Reason #13056 We Must Stop Global Warming « BUUUUURRRRNING HOT

Sci-Fi Reason #13056 We Must Stop Global Warming « BUUUUURRRRNING HOT — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:03:09 +0000

[…] Yes indeedy folks, of all the countless imaginary crises?that global warming?is said to cause, endlessly expanding goo that absorbs and dissolves anything is surely the most immediately threatening scientific fairytale! Not even global warming zombies can compete, when amoebas can?eat the dead. […]

By: Another Overlooked Cost Of Glowball Warmening — Just Some Poor Schmuck

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:29:49 +0000

[…] William M. Briggs, Statistician ? Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. ?If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,? said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. ?And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.? […]

By: OBloody Hell

OBloody Hell — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:43:52 +0000

“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.”
- Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis

“I’ve been working on a theory that premature hair loss is caused by sexual dysfunction.”
“But you blame everything on sexual dysfunction.”
“No, I blame ignorance on an abnormally small penis.”
- dialogue from the comic book ‘Flesh Gordon’-

Al Gore’s must be microscopic.

By: OBloody Hell

OBloody Hell — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:38:14 +0000

> if Al Gore became Zombie Al Gore his utility usage and air travel would go from several hundred tonnes of carbon per year to zero tonnes of carbon per year.

True, true. But that would be the only way to tell if Al Gore became Zombie Al Gore. There would be no other detectable difference.

By: Mike N

Mike N — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:25:36 +0000

“Zombie voters, I tell ya!”

Why not? We have Zombie candidates don’t we?

By: kay

kay — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:23:19 +0000

this should be interesting as we have so many in government spots already and no one has noticed yet….will this make them more blood thirsty, more sleepy, more dopey?……